Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Good Bye Summer

Wow, it's August...summer is almost over and I really am a bad blogger.  So much has happened this summer that I have failed to write about.  Mainly because I've been busy living my life my way and not so much taking time to say much about it.  During the course of the summer I've been training, playing, meeting peeps, going on new adventures, and mastering the art of saying good bye.

In June, I said good bye to my bestest guy buddy, Mr. Incredible when he moved back home to follow his dreams.  I knew it was going to happen, just didn't know when exactly...he left quietly one afternoon without any real warning.  At midnight he was there and at 3pm he was gone...poof, no more Mr. I.  It actually worked out for the best that way I think.  I kind of like the quiet good byes really.  Nothing fancy, no dwelling, just a "talk to ya later".   It was exactly what I would have expected from him, and it was exactly the kind of good bye I needed.  Funny, the dude always seems to know me better than my own self, and he always knows what I need and the best way to handle me in any situation.  You're the best Ty!  Good luck!!! (Oh...and, Go Pioneers!!!??? *shrug*...just kidding, not really...go get em coach, I'll try to make it to at least one game this year. :))

In July, I said good bye to my job.  Not really by my own choice, but it is what it is.  There's a lot of emotion that happens when a 36 year old single mom loses her job.  It's not easy, and there is no way to sugar coat it and say that it is.  I went on vacation (a camping trip by myself...that's a whole other blog post), and when I came home again...poof, no job.

It's been both a good and bad experience.  Good because I've had time to focus on finding a new job, training and really figuring more of myself out, and bad because, well...it's sorta turned me into a crazy monster.  *shrug*  Shit happens, and I have not dealt with this particular shit very well.  I've gone through depression and anger and every other emotion that you can possibly think of, and none of it has been very productive.

When I couldn't handle dealing with my real life no job my best friend just moved away situation, I turned to Facebook for my entertainment (since homeslice doesn't watch TV)...I probably would have been better off watching TV. I quickly became one of those annoying FB people that I hate.  Posting every single hour and commenting on everything.  Suddenly I had an opinion and comment about everything that all of my "friends" posted...ugh!

I need to issue a huge apology to everyone right now for my obnoxious social behavior the last 3 weeks.  I will be the first to admit that it's NOT COOL!!!

BUT, it got me thinking...in a moment of clarity last night it occurred to me...we all lived very healthy, happy, and meaningful lives without the use and instant gratification of Facebook and text messaging and cell phones.  And, I decided in that moment that I wanted out of the social media interaction.  It turned me into something I was not comfortable with and it added a whole host of complications to my life in general.  I want to live my life in the real world doing important things (like finding a job) with the people I care the most about.  The reality is that all of my bestest friends know how to find me without FB, and I really have no interest in sharing every single detail of my life anymore.  So, in a single impulsive moment in the middle of the night last night I deactivated my account...poof, like Mr. Incredible and my job, I disappeared.    

Originally, my intention (pretty sure I've mentioned intentions before and the road to hell) was to deactivate for two weeks, just more of a personal challenge to see if I could do it.  It's safe to say that I didn't necessarily think it through all the way, so I've had to revise my plan a little.  I'm still going off FB...at noon today I will no longer be active, but I don't know if that means that I will completely deactivate my account or if I will just have to find the will power within myself to not go there.  I guess only time will tell, but for now it's a fond farewell to FB land.  I'm sure I'll be back, I just don't know when.

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