You Know You're an Endurance Athlete When...

Haha!!!  Found this article on Facebook, by Competitor Magazine.  It's actually fairly accurate and amusing. 

Do you fit any of these descriptions? (yes, yes I do!...keep reading, my commentary will be in red)

Written by: Susan Lacke

Let’s face it: Being a runner, cyclist, or triathlete goes beyond simply participating in the sport. It’s an identity, a lifestyle that is more than just the hours put in during training and racing.  It’s what separates us from the recreational joggers and weekend warriors. You know you’re an endurance athlete when:

- You’re able to say “I like to push it hard and fast at the end” and still keep a straight face.  (All the time!!!  I LOVE it hard and fast, but not just at the end.  Go hard or go home!!! :))

- Your kitchen cabinet has more water bottles than drinking glasses.  (Yep, a whole cabinet of just water bottles, however full disclosure: 2 years ago a guy installing floors in my house cut his fingers off while cutting the floors and bled all over a sink full of some of my favorites...it significantly impacted the number of water bottles I owned, however the numbers are on the rise again, slowly but surely with each race and like the t-shirts, don't you dare suggest that I get rid of a single one!!!)

- Some people have bank accounts. You have gear.  (Haha!!!  A truer statement has never been spoken!  This is especially true since I claimed bankruptcy.  And during the bankruptcy process I was asked to name all my assets and the value of each...truthfully I was actually scared that I was going to have to forfeit my bike in the process, and granted I don't even have a fancy bike, but it's certainly the most valuable thing I do own!)

- You go on vacation and wonder why people hadn’t told you about the whole “lay next to the pool and sleep” thing before.  (Now I can appreciate lake time and water park time as much as the next person, but yeah, some of my favorite vacation times are spent training...HOWEVER, again with the full disclosure: I haven't been on vacation in over 9 years, AND the only days I've taken off work in that time has been either with a sick child or to train while riding my bike on RAGBRAI...this year, RAGBRAI IS my vacation. :))

- What used to be a small pile of training gear slowly took over a drawer in your dresser, then a closet, then multiple areas of your house. You now can’t open a closet door without a hydration belt falling on your head.  (One closet, plus two large Rubbermaid's...and growing.)

- You’ve worn compression socks to the grocery store.  (Ok, not compression socks, but I do frequent the grocery store in my gear post run...and I've been known to wear bike shorts and UGGS in the winter to run errands straight from a trainer ride.)

- You’ve worn compression socks under your work clothes.  (Again, no compression socks here, but sports bras, yeah!  Big big fan of the sports bras.)

- You’ve worn compression socks to bed. (Once again, no compression socks, but the sports bras...hellz yeah!!!  Sometimes that's all I wear to bed in the summer when it's hot out.  AND, especially during marathon training...I don't know why, seemed more comfortable I guess...guaranteed also that my ex wouldn't try to put any moves out there...there's a popular saying in my circle "not now honey, I have a race in the morning"...now post race is a totally different story, there's all sorts of adrenaline and endorphins flowing, yes, post race is ALL about the nookie...and the beer, but a lot about the nookie. :))

- Your significant other has informed you that compression socks in bed are not sexy. This is news to you.  (Substitute sports bras for compression socks again, and ding, ding, ding, ding!...we have a winner!)

- When the mechanic gives you a quote to fix your car, you don’t think in terms of dollar signs, but instead calculate its equivalency in race registration fees.  (HAHA!!!  Coming from a girl who just put new brakes on her Jeep...OH YES!!!  Most definitely YES!)

- The watch once reserved for training activities only has now become a staple of your wardrobe…even when you’re dressed up.  (Timex Ironman, digital, black with a turquoise rim...quite pretty really in my honest opinion.  Goes with everything and I never take it off!  It's also a heart rate monitor...super fancy!!...thanks VTC!!!!  Single momma on a tight budget loves love LOVES hand me downs!)

- You have tan lines that would put a zebra to shame.  (Yep, it's only May and I'm peeling already!)

- You’ve purchased clothes specifically because they hide those tan lines so well.  (Sometimes, but I'm more of the girl who doesn't mind showing them off a little too...hell, I worked hard for those tan lines, you betcha I'm damn proud of them.)

- You’ve given at least one blister, saddle sore, or chaffed nipple a name…and had a conversation with it.  (UGH...marathon training...long story, don't ask!)

- You’ve actually told the massage therapist he or she isn’t hurting you enough.  (Never had a massage, but in Physical Therapy, absolutely...this bad ass momma loves (LOVES) pain :))

- Someone needs to explain the concept of “brunch” to you – apparently, not everyone has their long run on Sunday mornings.  (Nope, long runs happen on Saturday's...long BIKES happen on Sunday's...brunch, no!!  Unless you count the standard sweaty post bike oatmeal and coffee as brunch...I do not.)

- Your world was rocked when you discovered your now-favorite flavor of gel.  (GU Rocktane Orange Vanilla)

- You love that gel so much, you’ve considered using it as a condiment.  (I have a good friend who "butters" his pre race bagels with GU...I haven't gone there YET, however I have been known to eat Shot Bloc's for lunch or dinner on occasion, and I feel this is almost equivalent...and Rocktane and Powerade Zero will cure a hangover in less than an hour...again, prolly better not to ask on this one, I have a theory, I've tried it, it works for me.)

- You have no problem wearing an outfit to a race that, in any other setting, would look like a toddler painted a superhero costume on your body.  (There is NO SHAME in wearing spandex!!!!  The tighter the better...means less drag.)

- You spend so much time with other endurance athletes, you’ve forgotten men actually have body hair.  (Hey, I know a few guys who will remain nameless, who I have gotten close to from time to time who actually rock the smooth legs quite nicely...some might even say that on the right guy, smooth legs maybe even turn me on a little...and a hairless chest will just about put me over the edge...combine the two and DANGER DANGER. LOL)

- It’s odd to hear some people don’t eat dinner until after sundown. By that time, you’ve already raided the leftovers in the fridge on your way to your 9 PM bedtime.  (My clock says it's now 9:24 pm and that's WAY past my bedtime...good night! :))

Want to see more endurance athlete truisms? Pick up Susan’s “Out There” column in the June edition of Competitor Magazine, hitting shelves at the end of the month!