By now it’s no secret that my nutrition plan would be considered by most endurance coaches to be lacking. Others, my own coaches included, would probably call it pathetic. I would probably have to agree.
Here I am, a borderline ED Triathlete who struggles with what to eat and how much to eat. I fight with my food intake daily, and have learned to live primarily off Starbucks mocha’s and protein shakes. However, after spending some time quality time (including a healthy dinner) with one of my best friends (Vardo Tri Chic) last night I’m inspired, and I’ve decided that my will to succeed in tri’s and go farther and harder than I ever have before makes it necessary for me to adopt a new nutrition plan and clean up my diet. I know this. I accept this. I am going to work my ass off to find a nutrition plan that fits with every aspect of my life. Starting today! (Translation: I will NOT let my ED win! My will for triathlon is 800 times stronger than my will to be skinny…I think…I hope. I want to be strong. I want to be fast. I want to win. And, if I'm going to train like a serious athlete, then I need to eat like a serious athlete. It's that simple.)
Yesterday I reached a new low in the ED battle, and for the first time in my life I actually had the urge to throw up after eating lunch (yep, I’m just as shocked as you!, I never ever thought it could ever go there, EVER)…I did not do it, and I was able to talk myself out of it (even though I was standing in the bathroom pacing and staring down the porcelain god, wondering what would be the best way to get the job done) by promising that I would push that much harder during last night’s workout to make up for it. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen either, so today I had to promise myself to eat even less than my “normal” to make up the difference. Eh…not really doing that either, but I know I won’t eat dinner tonight because of job #2, so all is well for now in the neurotic ED brain. (I also am very very…did I say very?...very aware that this is NOT a healthy relationship to have with food. And please don’t think for a moment that I enjoy any aspect of this…I do not. It’s painful and frustrating beyond words some days.)
After looking into several different nutrition plans (Vegan, Vegetarian, Paleo, Clean, Raw, Pescetarian), and having attempted the Vegetarian, Paleo, and Pescetarian versions before, I’ve decided to start my new nutritional journey simply by going Clean. Clean eating embraces pretty much everything I loved about the Paleo and Pescetarian lifestyles (by the way Pescetarian is simply a vegetarian who eats fish).
The philosophy is simple. It is believed that as foods are cooked and/or processed they tend to lose their nutritional integrity, so the best thing to do is to eat things in as close to their natural whole state as possible. Heavy on the fresh fruits and veggies with a balance of lean (organic) proteins, and very few carbs (except maybe for the occasional beer!...I don’t know where Clean living falls on beer, but in my world beer is produced by a whole grain of some sort or another and is therefore very clean). The main goal is to steer clear of all things processed and to try to eat 5 or 6 times a day (GASP!...ok, that’s a lot of freaking meals for a girl who normally eats 1 on a good day).
I think I’m learning that this ED thing will forever be a constant in my life. I don’t see myself at the age of 35 ever out growing it, but I have dared myself to beat it…and we all know that I cannot turn down a dare, so now I have no choice but to beat it. A dare’s a dare and the challenge starts now! I realize that for as guilty as I feel about yesterday’s lunch, it no longer matters. Today is a new day, and I’m starting over…I’m going Clean (with my eating that is...LOL :)).
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