A Sign from the Stars???...Creative Route Adjustment Ahead

Ok, so here's my horoscope for the day according to Google...

Establishing a new schedule for your diet and exercise routine can be tricky if you're secretly satisfied with your current state of affairs. However, today you may be more certain about what you want, yet still find it hard to motivate yourself to change. Gathering more information isn't necessary, for you probably already know enough. Anything you do now can lead to an improvement in your physical well-being, so take action while it counts.

Ba-hahahahaha!!!!  Really???...Seriously?!?! 

I'm laughing because this has to be a joke of some sort, because I find it hard to believe that even my horoscope apparently knows that it's time for me address a growing and serious issue in my life...my possible ED.  I'm all for grand cosmic order and inspiration, but this is too much.  Good grief!  LOL

(For the record, I've always found horoscopes amusing, I don't put a whole lot of stock into them, but they are mildly entertaining, and we can all use a daily does of mild entertainment in my opinion.  And yeah, I also know that eating disorders are nothing to laugh at...they are serious, but with all things in life I prefer to approach this serious issue with a bit of a sense of humor.)

So, apparently the stars are trying to tell me that it's time for what us Vardo's like to call a little "creative route adjustment" in my lifestyle and eating habits (gee, ya think?!?!). 

(Side note:  Mom, if you're reading this...and I know you are...please stop here!  I don't want you to freak out and I don't need another lecture.  I'm fine, I'm good...I've got this covered.  I know you worry because you are my mom and I love you for it, but trust me, as far as my health is concerned I am a triathlete first...nothing, including a potential ED, is going to stop me from training and racing.  You know how important it is to me.  I know what I need to do and I'm going to do it.  I've got a plan in place. I love you, but you have to trust me here. xoxo ~ KK :))

I'll be the first to admit  that I have issues with food.  Food and I are not friends...I'm just really not a fan.  Don't get me wrong occasionally a good steak or pizza or burger and fries totally hits the spot, but then the guilt that consumes me after eating so well will literally eat away at my conscious for days.  And, I'm also aware that my eating habits leave a little (a lot) something to be desired (mainly the food part).  The more I've become aware of my issue with food, the worse the thought of food seems to bother me.  (I guess sometimes maybe ignorance is bliss :)). 

In the past few weeks since posting my original statement about my possible ED, I've watched my awareness of exactly what I was eating (and the calories involved) increase, right along with my training intensity.  This has not been on purpose, it just is a really terrible coincidence.  So far the lack of "fuel in the tank" is not affecting my athletic performance, but make no mistake, it will.  I know this and I dread this. 

For the most part, this is whole horoscope statement is pretty frighteningly accurate. I am sort of secretly very satisfied with my current state of affairs, even though I know they are sometimes wrong and unhealthy.  I feel good, and I'm happy with the way I look (most days), so...*shrug*.  And, today I am more certain about what I want (to eat without guilt...I dream of the day where I can have a chocolate malt again and not feel guilty about it), but yeah, it is still hard to change. 

I know from my triathlon/marathon racing lifestyle that sometimes just getting to the starting line is the hardest part of any event.  Well, today I'm going to begin the journey to my starting line.  It's not going to be easy, but with the help of a couple of trusted and amazing friends (you know who you are...VTC and the Big E), who have stepped up to this particular challenge with me in a big way, I'm determined to get to the starting line of Pigman (and life) healthy and full of energy...and, I'm going to do it without all consuming guilt of the carbs I may ingest in the process.